Change your story


There was a time in my life, somewhere around the mid 90’s where I was going through extreme turmoil. This turmoil continued to expand upon itself until it was downright tragic!

I became so entrenched in the trauma, drama and tragedy that I could not see any way out on my own. After a momentary, lucid moment I decided to seek help in my quest to improve my circumstances.  The lady who took me and my baggage on was an intern for a family therapy center. After the second week of seeing her she told me all about myself like she was some sort of fortune teller. She told me things about myself and my family that I did not even recall discussing with her (kind of scary when you think about it).

Then, she told me something that really threw me for a loop. She told me I needed to change my story. I asked her if I should just make something up from a story book, but she told me I was just looking at my story the wrong way.

I had been focusing on every negative thing I had ever been through from my first memories as a child. She asked me to find one good thing about a bad memory I had as a child. This was not an easy feat and at first I could think of absolutely nothing positive. Then, a flash of a smile popped up; then laughter, hugs, fun outings, friends, wins and love overtook me. I began to feel some peace in my heart, which was something that had eluded me for some time. It was no wonder this lady’s name was Ms. Love.

I was somewhere around 30 years old at that time. Can you imagine? 30 years of heartache built up based merely on the story I was telling myself.  Now that I’m well into my 50’s I find people pitching the “change your story” line all over the place, but at that time, I had never heard of such a thing.

When you hear someone talking about changing your story, it doesn’t mean to make something up out of thin air that is not true. It means to find the truth, peace, love and happiness in all of your brain’s files. It means soul searching for the positive, learning from the negative and moving forward with a new perspective.

Although I began focusing on positive aspects of my life’s experiences, I found in many respects, I was still being held back by some unseen force.

My brain had so much entrenched trauma that merely thinking about the positive aspects of my story was going to take some work.

Change isn’t always easy, but by changing your story, you change so much in your life. It’s work; hard damn work, but it’s worth every ounce of energy you put into it!!

Are you willing to put in the work to change your story?